In or Out

I get very annoyed at today's society and the idea that everyone is supposed to be in this perfect happy love-movie like relationship. Here is my opinion on the particular topic: if being single makes you happy - be single! If being in a relationship makes you happy - be in a relationship!

Its pretty simple, yet for some reason the society we live in makes it so complicated. I hate the pressure that comes with the idea of relationships. Ideally, they should be easy, right?

If you ask me, you should date someone because you want to, not for any other reason. Date someone who makes you happy, that you look forward to seeing whenever you get the opportunity to, someone you want to share your successes with and who makes you laugh. Anything less than that should not be something you spend your time in if you aren't happy.

Then, on the other side I feel as if some people who are in relationships almost look down on those who are not just because they live different lifestyes. Here are two different articles I found on reasons why it is okay to be in a relationship, or out of one:

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/9-surprising-benefits-being-single.html

http://listdose.co/top-10-advantages-of-being-in-a-relationship/

Reading these articles could possibly change your outlook on the idea of dating versus not dating. I am a firm believer that everyone will find that person for them eventually, but that does not mean we all get lucky and find them right away.

Dating is a part of living and learning, and the world would be a much better place if we all understood that others might not necessarily be in the same place that we are, and that is okay.

Do what you want and be with who you want despite what society might say. Make yourself happy because that is what life is all about.

 

F00DIE

I feel like in today's society there is this huge negative outlook towards junk food. I swear some people act like you are going to gain 27 pounds and die of a heart attack if you eat one cookie. Who knows what those types of people would do if they saw me eat two cookies!

Personally, I have tried the whole "dieting" thing and I did not last long at all. Obviously no one enjoys dieting, yes they may enjoy the results of it, but I would love for someone to give me a valid argument on why it is fun to watch a group of people around you eat a piece of cake at a birthday party and you cant take one because "you're on a diet."

I recently read this article the other day that taught me a huge lesson when it comes to self image and being happy and healthy... http://greatist.com/health/diet-and-deprivation-enjoying-food

The whole idea of the 80/20 rule in that article is so spot on to me. Of course it is not advised to eat like crap 24/7 and never eat anything healthy, but, that's not to say you can't splurge every once in a while and reward yourself.

I have a bag of Skittles that I keep in my bedroom and never hesitate to delve into it when I feel necessary. After going through a few phases of worrying about becoming overweight or anything of that nature, I have finally realized that the actual key to being happy is to be healthy when you can, but never deprive yourself of the little wonderful things that life has to offer either. 

Cheating on your diet every once in a while is a good thing, you will be much happier and, believe it or not, will still be healthy.

Eat the cookie.

SnooZZzzzze

We have been hearing it our entire lives "You need to get more sleep" "Sleep is so important" "You should get at least 7-8 hours of sleep a night." Ever since being in college, I find myself wondering why in the world I hated naps so much when I was younger. Nowadays, I would kill for even a fifteen minute nap between classes! Sounds pathetic, I know. But doesn't anyone else feel like there is just not enough time in one day for everything we need to get done?

I struggle with this daily. No matter how hard I try to get my life together and go to bed at a decent time, somehow that 2am mark rolls around and there I am, still wide awake studying or rushing to get an assigment done. Its like a vicious cycle that I just can't figure out how to break.

I had a friend once tell me "You can sleep when you're dead" and ever since then, I just cant help but think of this every time a friend asks me to go out or to do something when I know I should get to bed early or be doing homework instead. I tell myself there is plenty of time to get all of my stuff done, but I am usually wrong about that.

I read this article the other day about the health benefits of getting enough sleep, and it made me realize just how much better I could feel about myself if I get more than five hours of sleep each night. http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20459221,00.html. I highly recommend reading this article, the benefits it lists just might be enough to encourage you to get your sleeping schedule in check.

I actually fell asleep sitting up in my desk chair today doing homework, and that was the real inspiration for this blog post. I have a hard time saying no to fun things, I hate being the person who has to miss out on something. A constantly being on the go and participating in fun activities with friends is a great way to live life, I think its time to start sleeping a bit more once I begin falling asleep sitting straight up in a chair.

Snoozing the alarm a few times can't be all that bad, just look at all the health benefits those extra five minutes of sleep could give you!

Procrastination Destination

It is officially every student's favorite week of the year...DEAD WEEK.

Okay, so the one word that I can directly correlate with dead with is procrastination. We all have those assignments or projects that we were supposed to be working on throughout the entire semester, but somehow find ourselves starting it the week or even the day before its due.

The question of why we as students make this deadly decision of procrastinating is one that I sadly cannot answer. One thing I have made it an effort to work on lately is a way to prevent, or make it less likely for ourselves to fall into the evil of procrastinating literally every responsibility we could possible have. The following is a link to a procrastination quiz you might enjoy: https://www.buzzfeed.com/katieheaney/how-bad-of-a-procrastinator-are-you?utm_term=.mvobaZdqD#.ab68Pznl7. Though it is by no means a serious evaluation, it provides some funny examples and I found myself easily relating to almost all of them.

So, on the topic of putting off all of life's responsibilities, how do we avoid this? Lately, especially during this week I have become aware of just how much I procrastinated the whole semester. Due to my lack of sleep in the past 72 hours I have decided it is time to make a change. Though its a little late in the semester to try and be organized for school, I can implement new organizational skills into my life that I can hopefully maintain for future situations and semesters.

There are three things I have promsied myself that I will begin to do:

1. Actually use my planner - Do I have one? Yes. Do I use it when I should? No. At the beginning of the semester I was great at using my planner and staying on top of things. I wrote down all of my assignments, tests, quizzes, etc. Looking at my planner now at the end of the semester, it is completely blank; not very helpful for finals.

2. Printing out my class/work schedules - Almost every class that I have taken provides an outline for the class on the syllabus. I have decided that it would benefit me greatly to print those out and hang them up in order to always know what is coming up in the next week. I receive a monthly work schedule which I also plan to print out which might help me avoid those "late to work" moments due to my forgetfulness.

3. Create goals - AKA dedicate specific days and hours each week to homework and studying, and make it a habit to follow through on using the time I set aside wisely.

Okay, so these three tactics may seem obvious, but although they are things that I know I should be doing, that does not mean I actually do them. In reality, I find myself slacking in these areas more often than not. Another helpful link that I feel many could benefit from is... https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_99.htm. This includes a quiz, as well as additional links to discover more information and coping tactics.

Procrastination is the evil we all participate in at some point in our lives, but now is the time to overcome it and become more organized. Good luck!

3 Things

Living in today's society can be a nightmare at times. School is hard, "adulting is hard, and people suck. It can be extremely easy to focus on all of the negatives in life and to dwell on them. Many times when something bad happens, that unfavorable event is one that might stick with you more than a positive time.

I personally have been experiencing this a lot in college, and I feel as if many college students can relate. There are a million things going on each and every day, friends and relationships come and go, you make mistakes and many times get into trouble. It can be very hard to experience so many negative events at such a stressful time in your life yet still maintain a positive attitude and be thankful for the good things, which brings me to the topic of this blog: gratitude.

Being thankful for the things we do have is something that most people like to think that they do. Although, chances are anyone who takes the time to sit back and reflect on all of the positive things they have in their life will come across some (if not many) that they take for granted. This is something I have come across frequently in the past semester, but really hit me a couple of weeks ago. I was awake at 2:00am working on homework and I realized just how bad of a mood I was in. I was tired, crabby, upset, anxious, everything under the sun that led me to feel so low.

At that point I realized that I had been feeling that way for a while, I had only been focusing on all of the bad and stressful things I was going through instead of remembering the good things I have. It was then when I decided to start the "3 Things" challenge that I had learned about in one of my psychology classes. For the next couple of weeks I created a section in my notebook and made it a priority to writing down 3 things I am grateful for every day.

Completing this exercise daily helped me to recognize the little things and just how much I have to be thankful for. Life is always going to have its ups and downs, but remembering to appreciate the little things can make a big difference in your overall attitude. I have continued writing things down before bed every night, and have already noticed a positive change in my happiness. Though this exercise may not work for everyone, I strongly encourage anyone who may be struggling with stress or life satisfaction to give it a shot, you might be surprised.

Building Your Bucket List

As the main idea or theme of my blog is self-improvement and happiness, I felt as if a post about bucket lists was vital. Creating a list of your biggest dreams is one of the best ways to improve your mood and excitement for life. If you don't have a bucket list of your own yet or haven't never at least thought about what you would put on it, I highly recommend making one. It is easy to find ourselves focusing on the negatives rather than the positives. Creating a bucket list is one thing that can help to remind you of the greater things in life and, even better, give you something to look forward to!

In my opinion, there should be no limits when it comes to your bucket list. No matter how crazy, far away, far fetched or out of your comfort zone something may be, if it is something you want to do and would make you happy, then go for it! Not sure where to start? Think of what makes you happy; what excites you, something that would give you that rush of doing something new.

I think it can be easily agreed upon that no one makes it a goal of theirs to live a life full of regrets. One of the worst feelings can be looking back and wishing you would have done something differently, or taken a chance when you had the opportunity but knowing that its too late now. Life is meant for building dreams and following them. Wealth, fame, material items, while these things might provide temporary happiness, truly being happy and satisfied with your life comes from doing the things you love with the people you love. You can deal with the mess later, but for now, focus on you, think of what you want to accomplish in your life and what you would love to see or do within the time you have here, and start that list.

 

http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2015/06/the-ultimate-guide-to-creating-your-bucket-list/

The above link is a story of a couple living life the way I believe we all should: fulfilling their dreams together, and doing crazy and spontaneous activities with no regrets. While my bucket list hasn't been updated in a while, I plan on adding to it quite a bit and not leaving out any ideas, no matter how crazy. When it comes to self-improvement, making yourself happy by fulfilling your dreams is extremely important, and a bucket list is one of the greatest ways to start, give yourself something exciting to look forward to!

Run Your Stress Away

Stress is something that affects each and every one of us at some point in our lives, some of us more than others. Just as stress affects every person differently, there is no one "correct" way to deal with it. It is easy to sometimes catch ourselves turning to stress outlets are not the most positive. It can be hard to know which way to turn, especially when we become desperate to feel better. For this post, I'd like to discuss exercise as a coping method for relieving stress.

It is easy to relate to the rush of frustration or anxiety that can come from a stressful situation. Both the physical and mental side affects can almost be exhausting, while at the same time almost surging you with energy or anger; what better way to exhaust this energy than going for a run or hitting the gym for an hour or so? By using exercise as a stress outlet, you are not only improving your mental health but physical as well, which in turn can also add to a more positive attitude and self-image.

As discussed in an article posted by the ADAA (Anxiety and Depression Association of America), exercise is vital to maintaining one's mental health. When your brain and mind become stressed out, the effects of this spread throughout your body, causing physical effects as well. Improvements in mood and sleep consistency, decreased levels of tension and higher self-esteem are all positive side affects of turning to exercise to exhaust your stress levels. These and other benefits, as well as other stress relieving tactics are discussed in further detail in the following article: https://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/other-related-conditions/stress/physical-activity-reduces-st

 

The Best Personal Strength's Survey To Take

When someone asks you to describe yourself, or to list your top strengths, have you ever struggled? It can feel a bit weird to just start talking about how great you are, and at times it can even be hard to come up with an answer to this type of question. It seems easier and more acceptable for someone else to tell you what they think you are good at, rather than feeling as if you are bragging about yourself.

I feel as we are overlooking an important part here, though. Knowing yourself is just as important, if not more so than others knowing you. It is essential to be able to personally identify yourself, to know your strengths and weaknesses. The VIA Character Strengths Survey is approximately a fifteen minute long survey of which at the end provides you with a list of 24 strengths, ranked in order of your top strengths all the way to the end, which are traits that may not describe you very well if at all.

I was required to take this survey for a class of mine, and I realized soon thereafter just how beneficial it was to me and have even recommended it to a few friends. When you receive your results, you are able to click on each trait and a description will pop up, giving you a more detailed definition of what that particular trait reflects about you. Given that you take your time on the survey and provide honest responses, the results can be quite intriguing. This survey is a great way to identify and discover things about yourself, some you may have known already and some new. Looking at this list highlights what you do well, and reflecting on this can help you to view yourself in a more positive light - related to my previous blog about self-compassion.

Though we might think we already know what we are good at and what we value the most, this is not something most people keep consistently active in their brains. It is a helpful tool to have these traits refreshed in your mind, providing you with the opportunity to focus on those particular traits and continuing to incorporate them into your daily life. Taking what you are good at - and ensuring that you uphold those traits and begin to use them even more is a wonderful way to self-improve.

On the other hand, it can be even more difficult to face our weaknesses, or areas that could use some work. Though the results of this survey do not state them to be weaknesses, the traits at the bottom of your list are those that least represent you. I believe a vital part of self-improvement revolves around taking your weaknesses and working to improve them. If after reviewing your results you notice some traits low on your list that you would like to see higher, it is then in your hands to make the change. Being able to recognize something that you would like to see change, and taking it upon yourself to actively make that change shows that you are ready and capable of improving yourself and moving towards becoming the person you hope to be.

I highly recommend taking 15 minutes out of your day to complete this survey, and begin using your results to better yourself day by day! You can reach the survey at the following link: http://www.viacharacter.org/www/Character-Strengths-Survey

Self-Compassion: Learn To Stop Beating Yourself Up

As my blog is centered around self improvement, self-compassion is one of my most passionate topics. Sounds pretty simple, right? Be nice to yourself. You would be surprised how often we do not practice this. Especially being a college student, I am nowhere near perfect and, whether I like to admit it or not, I tend to screw up quite often. People make mistakes, both big and small, and it is extremely easy for us to spend time beating ourselves up after we do something wrong or mess up. In fact, practicing self-compassion has shown to be highly beneficial to mental health.

 

For some reason, in our society it is too easy to focus in on all of the negatives and mistakes we have made until it takes over our thinking and leaves no room for positive thinking or improvement thoughts. Learning to "look on the bright side" or "don't sweat the small stuff" needs to make a comeback in my opinion. One of the main components of self-compassion is centered around Common Humanity. Common Humanity means realizing that yes, you have struggles in our life, but so does everyone else in the world; it is recognizing that all people stumble in life and that is completely normal. Loving yourself, thinking highly of yourself, and most importantly forgiving yourself. Practicing self-compassion can be extremely difficult. If you do something wrong, something bad or frowned upon, something embarrassing, it can be very easy to sit and reflect on the negative action or experience, to replay the situation and pick out every little thing you did wrong or what you should have done. This type of thinking/reflection can lead to regret, blame, and even negative views of yourself. It becomes a problem when we get so upset at ourselves for doing something wrong that we begin to attribute it to who we are as a person, rather than being human and making a mistake.

Training ourselves to practice self-compassion and to love and forgive ourselves is a very important milestone on the pathway to self-improvement and your overall happiness. The following link provides additional information on the topic of self-compassion, its benefits as well as relation to mindfulness - which is what my first blog is focused around! I highly recommend checking it out, and practicing loving yourself on a daily basis can truly make a difference. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201610/the-many-benefits-self-compassion

Mindfulness & What It Can Do For You

I think we all know how easy it can be to get caught up in our busy schedules or daily routines, especially in today's society. Day by day, it just becomes automatic to repeat the same tasks we know best and not even think about it. In a psychology class of mine, I have recently learned about the topic of mindfulness- one that I had not previously heard of, and I suspect I am not alone there. So, what exactly is mindfulness? Mindfulness is being entirely attentive to what is happening in your life, where you are and what you are doing. The main components to mindfulness (but definitely not limited and are open to expansion) are:

1) Being present in your life, and being non-judgmental
2) Be curious, open, accepting, trying to be at peace

This might sound silly or easy, but it can be pretty difficult at times. I myself am still working on it, and it is easy to lose your attention after a few minutes, or let your mind wander to that test you have tomorrow, or the fight you had with your roommate that day, or what you're going to have for dinner. Moving past those distractions and truly being there in the present moment is what we struggle with. Two tactics that can be used to practice mindfulness...

1) Meditation
2) Body awareness

The two tactics build off of one another in a way, as mindfulness meditation promotes body awareness. Being aware of your body is a great way to keep yourself in the present moment, feeling your feet on the ground, your lungs breathing and your heart beating, focusing on the fact that you are truly present in your life at that point in time.

It amazes me how putting myself into this one, simple mental state can improve my life. I find that I am much happier in my life since I started practicing this. Something as simple as looking around you while walking to class and noticing the color of the leaves on the trees, the newly budding flowers or a crack in the sidewalk. It may sound silly, but it can truly better your life. Mindfulness makes that routine drive to work or class every single day less routine. You know that car ride where you arrive at your destination and somehow don't remember the drive there? I think we have all been there before, and it can almost be scary at times. Mindfulness can help you to notice something you may not have previously, or pick out something new every day amid your daily commute.

To live a happy, full life does not mean just going through the motions. Mindfulness not only raises your awareness, but can improve mental health and overall well being, leading you on the path to a happier and healthier life. For more information on mindfulness, its benefits, and how to practice it I highly recommend visiting the following: https://www.helpguide.org/harvard/benefits-of-mindfulness.htm. This site provides great insights into the state of being mindful, and how it can boost you in the right direction. Continue checking back for more posts on happiness and self-improvement!